everytime you close your eyes...
I deleted every email I ever saved from boys today. I deleted rob and joel and james and evan and mike, in order of appearence.Strange enough, this one was one of the hardest:
"It's been a long time since I've emailed you. Funny. You slept over
last night. It's amazing how things can change in a few days. You
weren't even in my life a few weeks ago. Now somehow you feel...
important. Like I should get to know you. I wonder if I seem like
that to you. I don't ever want you to tell me what you think I want to hear. You don't have a lame inability to tell people what they want to hear. You
don't trust easily. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact it
probably serves you well most of the time. The unfortunate part is
that sometimes it takes a little time to crack the nut. I'm okay with
that. You really can do whatever you want. I'm not waiting eagerly
for you to fucking cough it up. I just like to hang out with you and
will take you however I can get you. And the way you are right now is
pretty awesome
lame town and all."
This one too
"GO TO SLEEP!! THINK ABOUT BUNNIES, and how they're thought of as so cute, but all they do is 'it.'"
And I realised thats why it hurt. And I realised that it's ok taht I hurt. I still feel like I went a bit crazy, but it's ok. It was expecially good because I feel ok now. I feel like it's something nice that happened to me, something i won't be stupid enough to fall for again, but something nice.
I finally wrote him his song.
brokentrain at